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In soup.
Uncut, center out from the bottom.
Or
Roll into a cone, bite out the center from the bottom, suck the toppings and sauce through the bottom like a waffle cone, discard the crust.
Dammit. Now I gotta do this to fuck with my kid
It’s good to build distrust and topics of discussion for therapy as early as possible.
Nah, roll it into a cone with the topings on the outside and try to suck the crust though the topings.
Please do that in the line to vote, so people feel more confident in how competent the electorate is.
By licking off the topping and sauce. The base gets reused for new pizza.
Blocked and reported for putting that disgusting image in my head! Ok jk but I think you win the thread
slapping your face into the middle of the pie and sucking like a dyson
sucking like a Dyson
What, immediately block up, stop working then lots of bits just randomly break off you?
This awful video I saw where someone put pizza in a blender and turned it into a casserole
What about that but as a sausage?
Here we go!
Eat the crust, leave the rest.
Turned into a slurry and then administered as an enema.
Pizza Slurry Enema
nice band name
Or Jackass stunt
take a bit from the outer perimeter, rotate the zza slightly, then take another bite. repeat until you’ve spiral-noshed the whole thing
OP asked what’s the most incorrect way to eat a pizza. That’s the canonical method, authentic from Italy
No - in Italy you eat pizza with a knife and fork.
rolling it up starting from the crust like it was a croissant and then taking a bite, not from the end, but from the side
OR
not cut into slices, you tear out the center and slip your head through so it sits around your collar, then lift it to take bites periodically like a candy necklace
With a spoon
Close second would be chopsticks.
Close second would be chopsticks.
My brother eats pizza with chopsticks
(For context: my family was all born in China)
How does that even work?
well, we chinese undergo intense shaolin finger strength training at a young age, and so we all can pick up heavy objects up to 1kg with our chopsticks.
Very well, thanks for asking.
knife + fork + stacked slices, as Donald Trump was called out for on The Daily Show 17 years ago
You take it out of the oven, cut a slice as fast as you can and immediately bite down on it, holding it in your mouth until the cheese has completely fused with the roof of your mouth.
Blending and drinking through a straw
tell me youve never tried pizza soup without telling me youve never tried pizza soup
I’ve never tried pizza soup
fuck, let me try again …
Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that’s fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.
After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it’s very dim. “Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is.” Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, “Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went.” Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. “More for me then!” Eat the whole thing.
Instant legend.
What the fuck did I just read? You want to eat a piss soaked pizza?
What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?
Yes, it answers the question but the phrasing made it sound like you actually want to do it…
I was just following the writing prompt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ll take your comment to mean I done did good :D
