I’m visiting extended family for the first time in a long time, and one of my nieces has reached the impressionable age where she keeps mimicking things that she sees me do. what’s a really funny but fairly harmless thing I should teach her to do?
It’d be hilarious if you taught her how to code Fortran.
He said harmless
You sick bastard! Have her do a print loop in BASIC.
I don’t think his niece is named Fortran, tho
Flicking your cheek just right to make the water drop noise
OP, do this one
💯
On a vacation when I was a teenager I taught my younger sibling the “SYN/ACK” game.
They still remember the TCP stack handshake protocol including resets and acks years later.
Lol, kid will sniff packets next
What kind of game is this? Never heard of it
My niece and nephew loved the “this guy” gag. What’s got two thumbs and thinks you’re the coolest? THIS GUY! and point to yourself with your thumbs.
Nah here it’s Good guy/Wank
Teach her that, it’s an important life lesson
Teach her to order something off a foreign-language menu, invite the family out to dinner, and see if she can place her order fluently.
Doing the “Five year old white girl shocks waitress by ordering Orange Chicken in perfect Mandarian” bit IRL would be pretty funny and adorable.
I’ve thought my niece that policemen go “oink oink” and that pigs go “You have the right to remain silent!”
I’ve thought that too.
Lockpicking
Using Linux
Media piracy
Feeding the homeless
Wheatpasting / graffiti
Political theory
Shoplifting from corporate chains
First Aid
Legal observation
Black bloc tactics
Guerilla gardening
Spotting plainclothes cops / informants
Dialectical Materialism
Idk about some of these given the age bracket, but Spot the Fed is fun for the whole family.
She could configure linux from scratch
Seconding lockpocking. Easy to learn, tactile feedback (very kid friendly!), can absolutely annoy parents. But be careful to teach children not to do anything that’ll seriously get them into trouble
You have a weird sense of humor.
I’m a weird sort of person. 😺
- Beatboxing. “Boots and cats and boots and cats”-style.
- The pulling your thumb off trick.
- The Macarena.
- “The Game”. (“You just lost The Game.”)
- Chopsticks on the piano/keyboard/toy xylophone/etc.
- “The Name Game.”
A buddy of mine taught his 5 yr old daughter to tell people “One time, at band camp…I stuck a flute in my…” *long pause* “nose”.
And he gets joy remembering all of the people go wide-eyed waiting for that next word out of her mouth.
Just hope he’s prepared for when she finds out the quote’s origin
Then once they got it just right, let them sing it all week.
Once the week goes by … teach them 99 bottles of pop on the wall
You are evil
That is utterly evil
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“CHICKEN BUTT!”
I love this type of thing! There’s also:
“Guess why?”/“Chicken thigh!”
“Guess who?”/“Chicken poo!”
As a kid I also came up with “Guess when?”/“Chicken shin!” “Guess where?”/“Chicken hair!” and “Guess how?”/“Chicken COW!!” but those may not be quite as good, hahaha.
Guess what.
What?
Youre a snot and I’m not.
Teach her how she can insert “apparently” into every statement.
My 8 year old starts almost every sentence with “By the way.”
In 80 years your kid could be president
And “allegedly”
If she’s the right age, Teach her The Game. It’s a brain virus game.
Rule number 1 of The Game, you can not think about The Game. When you think about The Game you lose.
Rule number 2, when you think of The Game you have to say that you’ve lost The Game. Ideally loudly and publicly.
Rule number 3, after losing the game you get 30 minutes grace period to stop thinking about it before The Game starts again.
Rule number 4, once you have learned about the game you may either play the game or cheat.
Dangit. It’s been years. You flipping flipper.
You beat me to it.
Start em young.
Also I lost the game.
It’s been a while. But now I lost the game again…
Arm pit farts
I taught my kid to say “mom drinks beer for breakfast” as soon as she could talk. Wasn’t that popular with the family xD
Lol! That reminds me of how (when AOL was thing and I was probably way too young to be on it but would use it to talk to family) my mom had me type out and send “I bought a bunch of cars and RECTUM!” via email or AIM out of nowhere to random family members with no context, even though I had no idea why that was funny, but she thought it was hilarious. Which is pretty damn funny looking back!
Reminds me of the people who taught their bird to say “mom beats me! oOoOoOoOo”
