You don’t have children, do you?

I’m not sure that person has ever seen a child

Mmmm… Garden droppings

I’m sad you didn’t use my household’s name for the Papa: Poopy John’s

I use a KVM switch tree and run it off an alternator connected to my desk bike

So you’re saying Tony Lazuto uses Windows??? That bastard!

Is this how one becomes nonbinary?

Alternative headline: “study finds that people don’t like subscriptions that tell them to eat shit”

“Okay Google, who is the current pope?”

“Did you mean the Catholic pope or the Google pope?”

Bravo! Although, I repeated it to my dog and she seemed offended…

Source: I speak dog

Oh yeah?? Say three words in dog!

Oh yeah! I should do more drugs…

Should’ve invested in some teeth…

I miss Macbarf…

The ye el las thems

When my dad died suddenly in 2015 and I cleared out his office at his job, I spun down his Win95 machine that he’d been using for essential coding and testing. My father was that programmer—the one who directly spoke to a limited number of clients and stakeholders because he had a tendency to ask people if they were stupid.

TELL ME THEIR NAME! And then tell them that I love them!!! Give them a sneak-attack-kiss from me

Marty! It’s your children! The little bastards won’t stop playing Ska-booby toilets!

Consider that the energy output of a 12-gauge shotgun is approximately 4500 Newton-meters and, from personal experience, can rotate a first-gen iPad at an extrapolated 240 rpm (extrapolated as this proved difficult to sustain). That gives us an equivalent of 113 kW! A modern ipad would only need about 13 kW to charge in one second.

So, one shotgun shell could easily charge yours and 7 of your friends ipads instantaneously, although the results are difficult to appreciate.

Uh huh, uh huh. And how many dicks do I get have to suck per vote? Can you provide a link and very detailed instructions on the process? You know, so I can make sure I never go there before my wife comes home from work.

Thanks! I’ll use, them liberally and, with reckless abandon! Look, earrings!

,😁,