I am very laid back (my Dad always said I was nearly horizontal) and I never get angry, I rarely even get flustered or impatient. My Dad was a very good man and I try to follow his example as much as possible. As his health declined and I started caring for him (a real privilege as he helped so many it was only just that he got help in return when he needed it, even if it couldn’t possibly fully pay him back) and, as I picked up some of his slack I did wonder where he found the time or energy. Since he died, I have felt like a sheepdog without a flock and have found myself adopting various people - I helped a friend through her cancer journey and her son start university, I took another friend to hospital sufficiently often that she just told the staff I was her “hospital husband” (which did stop them asking questions, usually with a roll of the eyes) and, as I don’t drink, I ferry people home from the pub.

However, I can be… thoughtless and this can be really annoying, especially to the easily angered - I’ve lost a friend over it and my brother isn’t exactly my greatest fan (the other year, my niece asked if I wanted to know all the nasty things my brother said about me and I declined - if we knew what people thought about us, we’d tear each other apart). I can also be rude to people but just where it’s funny, you just have to know your audience (it can appal any bystanders though). I’m also not very emotionally expressive and I suspect at least one friend thinks I’m a sociopath.

So am I nice? Although it might depend on who you ask, I’d say no. However, I try to do as much good as possible - if anyone needs help, I’ll drop what I’m doing and pitch in.

What I do when I have spare time: write. I just don’t seem to have had any spare time recently.

still not 100% convinced defederating isn’t, ultimately, going to be the answer though

It may be, but only as a last resort.

So I think we need some kind of step by step “If you see X, then do Y” sticked to the instances that care about this for the people who (like me) do care about this issue.

Yes, the map of thr Fediverse needs “here be dragons” sprinkled around.

Awesome - I switched my subs

Too general.

!marvelcomics@lemmy.ml

• sffa.community?
• literature.cafe?
• wait for a Marvel instance?

!dccomics@lemmy.ml

• !dccomics@lemm.ee - no posts that I can see

!sw_unlimited@lemmy.ml

• Wait for a SW instance?

!discworld@lemmy.ml

• !discworld@sffa.community but it is a bit dead at the moment. Although as I’ve been the main poster it is clearly my fault or a dearth of news. I have tended to cross-posting to them both, so I may just focus on this one.

!commandandconquer@lemmy.ml

• !commandandconquer@lemmygrad.ml - which isn’t much of an alternative
• One for lemmy.zip perhaps?

!collapse@lemmy.ml

!starwarseu@lemmy.ml

• Wait for a SW instance?

!stallmanwasright@lemmy.ml

!oldweb@lemmy.ml

• !web1@lemmy.world - no posts (that I can see)

Yes, I am.noy 100% sure if it is still working but if you have anything to promote it’s worth a go.

I feel the centralization of communities on WORLD is a far greater and thus more urgent issue for me.

It’s definitely a big issue too and why it is a good idea to suggest people start alternatives somewhere other than l.w, as is being done in this discussion.

I think that’s a really cool idea, but I am apprehensive about unforseen consequences.

Well there are a few that are easy enough to forsee and it would make me wary of doing it myself. I think the current system works OK, but I am interested to see how it works out.

It is now, but what I mean is that if we expect people to see it from All, we need to sub to it from accounts on the biggest instances.

That’s what Lemmy Federate (formerly known as Lemmy Community Boost) does.

FYI: I am currently crafting a.post on discoverablity.

Yes, I just posted over there that:

So if there’s an issue with lemmy.ml, boycott it - unsubscribe, give the other communities on more agreeable instances your time and they will grow and prosper. If there isn’t a relevant alternative start one.

And this is a key step - identify where there aren’t alternatives and start them. It might also be worth compiling a list of the alternatives so people can make the switch.

It’s also worth bearing in mind that Lemmy isn’t like Reddit in that you could just passively consume content all day. If there’s a problem, we all need to roll our sleeves up and pitch in.

Worth also mentioning that !fedigrow@lemm.ee is a good place to discuss topics on how we can help Lemmy grow and thrive.

The thing is, the Fediverse, link the original concept of the Internet is flexible and can survive losing nodes - it just routes around and issue. If there are problems it can mutate and survive.

I’m not sure if there’s a solution here, but I’d like to urge people to avoid lemmy.ml hosted communities in favor of communities on more reasonable instances.

This is the best solution - the answers are in our hands. Communities only thrive because the users are.posting and interacting on it. If the Mod goes inactive or an instances goes down, we can switch to a new community. That then gains the momentum and goes on to thrive. It’s survival of the fittest and why having more than one community on a topic (especially big topics) is a feature not a bug because it gives the network flexibility and resilience.

So if there’s an issue with lemmy.ml, boycott it - unsubscribe, give the other communities on more agreeable instances your time and they will grow and prosper. If there isn’t a relevant alternative start one.

Lemmy prevails.