Tell my wife I now have “fuck you money”, and then fuck her lots because she could quit her shitty stressful job and have energy again.
D’aw, I wasn’t expecting something wholesome to be the first thing. Good job Lemmy
I would buy as much land as I could. Build myself a reasonable house and a load of barns. I have always wanted to run a farm animal sanctuary that takes in abused and unwanted farm friends. Then I would spend the rest of my days laughing at goats and cows and chickens being derpy. That and maybe take a nice vacation to the beach once in a while.
Why not just build your animal sanctuary next to a beach and laugh at derpy land and sea animals? :-)
Holy cow we have the same childhood dream!
Order a pizza, don’t want to make big decisions on an empty stomach
Love it!
2 chicks at the same time
That’s it? If you had fuck you money you’d do two chicks at the same time?
I really hope I’m not the only one who read that in Lawrence’s voice.
Why stop at 2?
I only have 2 dicks :(
Understandable, have a nice day.
With “fuck you” money, you could purchase more dicks.
How much does that cost? I already have one, but I have been thinking of getting a newer, bigger one.
Dude you can do that if you’re broke af just be hot and charming.
Buy a nice home, upgrade it to my liking (CAT6 to all parts of it, solar panels/energy storage/network cabinet/make it watertight and safe for the next 50 years), buy a shitty looking van with a petrol powered pressure washer and indemnity insurance and spend my spare time going around cleaning paths and monuments etc. in my local area.
I ran cat 6 through the house we moved into over winter. The box, the guys running the cable and patching the walls after was like $1,200…not exactly fuck you money and absolutely worth it.
Ran it to the office, basement TV and office, family room, kids rooms and wife office.
If you want to do it, it might be worth exploring rather than waiting to hit the lottery.
A 1000’ box of cat6 was is I think $150 or so. A couple of those and a couple weekends of your time = profit. Plus it frees up your wifi for phones/tablets/laptops/etc.
This post just makes me want to be friends with you lol
I want him to adopt me. Dad?
This is the best plan I’ve seen yet.
I probably wouldn’t quit my job because I like it. I probably wouldn’t even tell many people I had that much money. My only debt is my mortgage so that would be gone. I’d probably buy a better house with an actual yard. Sell this house to my roommate for dirt cheap. (There’s no way he’d just take it)
Probably do some lying that my brother won some kind of raffle and give him a bunch of racecar parts. Shit maybe even sponsor a race team or two, gotta get the young kids back in the sport as all the old guys retire.
I’d probably buy some land in another area, give myself a vacation house. But this wouldn’t be immediate. Probably get a new car, mines pretty old. Build a greenhouse on my new property, have way too many rescue animals. Maybe even run a small rescue.
All this is assuming I’ve already set myself up for retirement and I’m good to go with everything else.
I probably would do the same as I love what the job entails.
I’m pushing 40 and basically have everything settled and really don’t need a lot. Have my house, garden, friends, ect. Money would just be a nice stress relief at this point.
Only problem I could see is that at the place I work is a 503©. So when/if the higher ups learn of my winnings, they’d either beg for donations or fire me.
Probably the former as the department is already short staffed and you need a license to do this job.
What job do you have?
Not tell anyone and see how little work I can do at work before they fire me. I bet I could even get promoted.
You sound like a straight shooter with upper management written all over ya.
Haha that’s basically what I’m doing now
Not sure how much money that is, but I would start a “quiet landscaping” company that used reel mowers instead of gas mowers, rakes instead of leaf blowers, and I would undercut every landscaping company in my town just to promote the idea of a quiet neighborhood.
We signed up for a service last year that uses only electrified/battery powered devices (as opposed to IC engines), mainly just for the green aspect of it. But I’ll be danged if they’re not also like a third the volume of the gas ones! The first time they showed up, my wife saw a dude walking back and forth behind a push mower (looking out through the closed window of her office), and she thought he literally didn’t even have it on yet. That’s how much quieter they are. I think that’s a damn good balance. Dudes with reel mowers and rakes are gonna be out there for like two hours every time they come; very not interested.
My idea was intentionally unrealistic and meant to represent an extreme. Your suggestion isn’t just realistic, it already exists. Admittedly, I’m not really that interested in operating a landscaping company, I just want eliminate some of the unnecessary noise noise.
I could get behind this!
How specific, but also I love it
I’d do what Mark Cuban did with his Cost Plus Drug Company, which sells everything on it at cost + 15%, but for other essential products as well. I’d open up all types of stores that sell necessities - petrol, groceries, medication, plants, technology items, books, etc - at cost + whatever the lowest margin mark up I could get away with. The goal would be to drive prices down everywhere, not just at my stores. I’d also spend big on lobbying/campaigning for better legislation and regulation around essential goods and services.
Low cost public housing would be another area. Buying up land to build low cost housing estates with all the facilities and amenities needed.
Obviously it goes without saying I’d set up everyone of my family and close friends for life too.
Massive underground dwelling. Not sure why, but that was my first thought.
Like hobbit house or prepper bunker?
Start a housing coop and community land trust to keep housing in the hands of people that need it. Rapid public transport for the housing coop for work, groceries, etc. Buy the old tracks and turn them into intercity people carries.
Buy the land from friends and family to pay off their debts and give it to the community land trust.
Start a community coop grocery store, pharmacy, clinic, etc.
Start a community electric coop focused on being a microgrid first and connection the national grid second.
Start a community fiber and wireless ISP coop, and fighting tool and nail to end the current ISPs state monpoly on shitty expensive service.
Try and create guerenteed minimums for both so no one has to disconnect because the money istoo tight.
Yeah I’d do something like this as well after I spent the first few years fulfilling my hedonistic desires (travel, music festivals, language tutors, personal trainers and the fanciest IV supplements etc. etc.) I’d also bankroll a cooperative owned software platform that could compete with a major tech firm. So maybe like create a co-op owned Lemmy instance (or like social.coop) and promote the idea of online public good spaces.
Buy off all the politicians and have them implement policies that will benefit the working class. Invest heavily in renewable energy sources and public transportation. Buy all the comic books.
Depends on the amount. If it’s millions or double digits billions - just live life safely while providing for myself, family and friends. If trillions or close to one trillion - heavy investments, heavy usage, adaption and implementation of the plans to end hunger globally that were proposed to Muskrat by UN, development of similar plans to end homelessness, addiction. Immediate global warming countermeasures. Influence political agendas of countries towards implementing socially beneficial policies like UBI, robotization of manual labor. Basically taking off the burden off of working class and humans as a whole.
I would try to ease the life of everyone around me.
That’s a nice answer
I’l tell you what I’d do, man: two chicks at the same time.
Looks like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays.
I’d do absolutely nothing
