If you were not diagnosed until 30 and you’re here on Lemmy you’re validating my challenge with all the people like you being the exception to the rule. The fact that you are here and can communicate puts you ahead of what I would define as the silent majority of those with autism.

We’ve just started him on strattera and seeing some success. The problem isn’t so much the autism but how the ADHD manifests. If this makes sense it’s like about working memory and more about modeling activities. Because he has issues with muscle tone he lacks a lot of the core abilities many of us take for granted like being able to do something as simple as a thumbs up. Thumbs up took a year.

Please don’t but pay attention to your support group as you move forward. You will learn there are a lot of people that genuinely care about your child and their future. The irony of course is the vast majority of these people make little to no money and are doing what they do because they love it.

Oh yeah those parents who make it their identity are weird AF.

Both my boys stim verbally with my youngest being “worse” at is. The balance is teaching them awareness and also time and place.

From a diagnosis and classification, Autism = Asperger’s.

From a lived experience, Autism != Asperger’s.

The latter has been validated by every expert I have talked over the years from doctors to therapists to education.

The more you understand the better you can help. You’ve made the first and most important step. I’m extremely passionate about this and you will find many around you are also passionate. I’m a grown ass dude and 46 and could cry.

Talk to their teachers as they get older. The best thing you can ever do is diagnose. There are so many kids in the school system parents bury their heads and it hurts everyone.

If you ever want to talk I’m almost a decade into my autism journey. Started at 3 and my son is now 11.

As a parent of two kids on the spectrum my messaging has been just this with a resounding “there are legions of autistic people that are NOT represented. Ever.”

Every representation of autistic people you see in the media, or chatting with online are the exception and the fact that they collectively shit on the fact that there are many isolated and struggling is goddamn frustrating.

If you’re autistic and on Lemmy I’m proud of you. My youngest son can’t manage his own diabetes, can’t wipe his ass, needs help showering, has worsening anxiety and ADHD. I could go on.

As a parent I’m supposed to defer to that representation in the media or on Lemmy because “they’re autistic bro.” disgusts me.

My final takeaway. Fuck the DSM V for making Asperger’s the same as Autism. It isn’t. It hurts both parties but I’d argue it hurts Autistic people far more than Asperger’s people.

As a parent of 2 children on the spectrum I need to give you a well thought out “fuck you” in response.

My experience online is a lot of you “champions” for autism are only speaking for yourselves and those like you, which is to say the ones that have some means of independence be it verbally, physically or emotionally. I have one son like that. He’s Asperger’s. He will have challenges, but he will live a long and productive life with all the proper tools. My other son is your “traditional” autistic. He is thankfully verbal but at this point there is no plan for him to be independent ever. As parents we hope for the best and take every day at a time.

To assume that our opinions and decisions are derived as “making about ourselves” is part of the problem. Everything I have done since his birth has been to NOT make it about myself.

The last thing I need is people like you punching down because you can’t look past your own goddamn nose.

Delicious irony

Unrelated but pooping ok?

You’re wrong but I’ll bite. What 2 songs lol.

And I’m joking with the you’re wrong. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

The other angle is the majority of Devs are just… Not good…

A good Dev in the situation you mention will design the solution needed now not the one you hope for later.

I’m saying this as someone who has been mired in scope creep and over engineering solutions many times in my life because “what if 5000 people need to use it at once?!”

In most cases all you need is a database, a single thread and a simple API. Build it and then as the problems come grow with them. Try to take into account issues of scale but realize you can’t and shouldn’t solve every scenario because there are too many variables which may never exist.

Yup I’ve thought about this recently and I think the big problem is people expect Reddit when Reddit evolved over time. Here you have hundreds of subs existing where the user base doesnt match the need for it.

Use Canada as an example. I’m sure on Reddit Canada started first then as it grew the need for provinces and cities. Here we have Canada and I’m sure provinces and cities. Everyone should just be in Canada. When the user base grows it will naturally splinter to smaller like minded communities.

We are trying to rebuild the wheel when the wheel is not needed.

I’ve Benin fights before but this is stupid.

Grenada go and do that now aren’t you? Typical!

Nigeria please that is a stupid rule

Wait! Elvis dies?! Lol

I’d also include it’s consistent with alligator. Tastes like chicken but the texture is chewier

3 kids. 13, 11 and 11 now. 10 years old was what my ex and I did with data plans coming a year after that.

Phone is like any other tool. It is my job as a parent to teach my children the proper way to use it.