Not a solution for everyone, but I am selfhosting and using FreshRSS. One of the extensions is Readable which will fetch the entry’s URL and parse it using either Readability or Postlight Parser to replace the content of the entry and make all of it available in the reader.
Did you find docs? I did a cursory glance around late last week and ended up just shrugging assuming that’s what I got for using Dendrite (positive)
Edit: Turns out, when running sliding-sync you really only need to patch the .well-known/matrix/client configuration
I recently started using Trilium. I like it, but it has a lot of rough edges that requires programm-y knowledge (i.e. I’d recommend it to a colleague but not an elder relative)
You can choose icons for every note which sorta meets your first point?
Sync happens via a self-hosted instance that also provides a web-interface. Relies on web interface for Android/mobile. It works okay.
The formatting leaves a lot to be desired. It is HTML on the backend, not flat markdown. You need to WSIWYG the formatting, but not all the formatting is provided in menu. If you edit the HTML source directly, things get stripped so you don’t actually have any programmatic control over the formatting. This means you can’t do things like intersperse a checked and non-checked list.
The share interface is very powerful. Having self-hosted publishing out of my note-app is the thing that’s kept me learning and hacking away at improving my little instance.
There are several API SDKs if being able to programmatically access your notes is important to you.
Now, that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time… A long time.
Seems like you missed some things in your first read of the Mastodon thread. That might be why you’re not getting the response you’re expecting.