Cliff Stearns (R-FL) proposed a display of the Ten Commandments in the capital building (without the scoreboard lights) in 2005. The bill did not pass.

Many work places require employees to bring their own tools (eg auto mechanic). Requiring a phone or tablet is probably legal.

The dark web has many truly anonymous forums, if you can tolerate the subject matter.

tell them about Linux

You monster.

Saying “I pirated XYZ”, though, is admitting to a criminal act, and can be used in court if linked strongly to a person through their account information and IP address.

I keep an Outlook.com account to communicate with Microsoft. Render unto Caesar that which is Caesars.

As written, the CFAA really does make violating terms of service become unauthorized access and thus a felony. Some courts have pushed back on this, but I don’t think it has been clearly decided.

Yes, caffeine can kill. https://www.livescience.com/caffeine-overdose-200-cups-of-coffee