I went through menopause just a few years ago. It threw everything into an upheaval. Thank goodness I didn’t have a partner to be like this to, but therapy definitely helped. She is absolutely going through a lot, physically and mentally, and will be for years. I still have hot flash episodes for weeks at a time and it’s always different.

Your feelings are valid. You have every right to them. Just because someone is going through chemical changes in their body doesn’t mean they can abuse you like this. Telling you that you have no right to your feelings is emotional abuse and she has no right to do that to you. You both need help to get through this, whether separate or together, but this is all new and for you to be told to sit down and shut up is just heartbreaking. Everything happening to her is also happening to you because it seems to me that she’s taking it all out on you and yeah, that affects you.

You are not dumb or stupid. You are caring and sympathetic to what she’s going through, and she reacts to this with hostility and arrogance. I can’t imagine anyone is obligated to put up with that from anyone, for any reason. It might change in time, but not if she never acknowledges the validity of your feelings and your right to have them.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

This is a great one: https://youtu.be/hLHi3wiSuWc?si=jIksepNQ6Wh-OZHe

Add It Up by the Violent Femmes

I heard it called that back around 1985.

Yup. I’m copying some Audible links now and the ampersand isn’t encrypted and the query string starts after the ? instead of the last slash, so there are different ways of doing it. We couldn’t guess at that, though! :)

Everything after the final slash is data. This data is stored in key/value pairs, where the key is a variable name that is expected in the server’s code and the characters following the “=“ is the encrypted value. Each pair is separated by an encrypted “&”, or “&”. Many times this string of values begins with a “?”.

https://example.com/path/to/item/?id=568953&name=shjbxsdhjhcdf&xyz=djkkgcdtjn

So we can maybe guess what the values might be but only if we know what the keys mean, and then we’d have to give exactly the right data for each key (id, name, xyz). For all we know the most important piece of data in that string is xyz and it may be required, but we don’t know that so we strip the whole query string off and now have a useless URL.

Mostly, stripping off the query string should be fine if the path to the item you’re looking for is enough. Like the amazon example in the other comment. Other times, not so much.

Sorry for the novel, I can explain more if you’d like.

I have only just now gotten the notification for your response. I have to think that’s our answer.

There are three posts I made, maybe it’s not federating? I’m not sure how all that works across instances.

Aw, thanks :)

Awesome, glad to see you here!

I came here from being pretty heavily involved in Reddit. The only thing keeping me there is r/heinlein, I want to keep it going.

You probably know most of us on the society’s board from back then. The Heinlein Forum has many of us, and I even have a little group for those of us who were afh friends back then. If you’re on facebook leave a comment on a post on the Heinlein Society’s page mentioning this and I’ll find you. (Most recent post is better)

lol no, but I do know the name. My username is the same it’s been since alt.fan.heinlein if you remember that. :)

Bullet in a Bible, Green Day

I bit the bullet in 2017 and got a Stearns and Foster mattress set. I think it was less than $2k for the set, queen size, at City Mattress, and they had a “zero percent interest for a year” thing going on. It’s one of the best purchases I’ve ever made.

You’ll find them for much higher prices online, it was going to the store that got me the deal. Find a mattress store near you that carries that brand and you may find a deal, too. It’ll save your back and you’ll sleep so much better.