As a child, I pretended to be superman and launched myself off an armchair and landed hands-first in the embers of our open fire. I relate.

When I finished my exams at school, I felt exuberant, and a group of us ended up at the village playground. For some reason I perched myself on one end of a see-saw and got a “friend” to jump out of a tree onto the other end.

While he was in mid flight I reevaluated my choice, and tried for a safe dismount. I nearly made it but one foot was still on the seat. That foot went up by what felt like a mile in the space of 0.003 seconds and I did a flip onto my head. Dazed, I immediately tried to push myself up and the see-saw caught me on the downstroke. Blood everywhere. Stitches in my head.

Making the existence of something public means you’d need to give away at least some details of who or what it concerned, at which point you’re in the situation of either being a target or a blackmailer.

It’s 2024.