podman does not autostart containers after boot. You have to manually start them, or write a start script. Or create a systemd unit for each of them.

I have not yet tried podman, but I know that podman-compose used to have an option to generate systemd units for your pods: https://docs.podman.io/en/latest/markdown/podman-generate-systemd.1.html

Still, that option has been deprecated in favour of Podman Quadlet https://docs.podman.io/en/latest/markdown/podman-systemd.unit.5.html

Shouldn’t Leela be Corbin and Fry be Leeloo?

You are just spreading FUD for the sake of it.

Snaps are updated automatically: https://askubuntu.com/questions/1262058/what-are-the-snap-equivalent-of-apt-get-update-and-apt-get-upgrade/1262059#1262059

Flatpak updates are usually integrated as hooks of the package manager (Archlinux handles this for you automatically, and I’m sure other distros do as well).

And on top of that, there’s also packagekit to handle all of this automatically.