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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 9th, 2023

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  • Oh wow, a topic for which I’m somewhat of an expert.

    Get a box of cornbread mix. Dump it in a bowl. Add milk. Stir and then consume with a spoon. If you want some violence to your shits then mix a considerable amount of crushed red pepper before the milk while it’s still a dry powder. The milk will help dull the impact of the CRP as you’re eating it but not as it’s passing, and passing fast.

    With this method you should be able to make a load of poop that floats a bit and will pile up above the water line, significantly increasing the stench you leave in the bathroom.

    The amateur enhancement is to also slam down a number of Fibercon tablets, but if you want to amp this up to pro-level defecation then go look in the supplements section for some stuff called “chitosan”. It’s like ground up shrimp and crustacean shell, and it bonds to fats so instead of being absorbed they pass through you. That plus a bunch of fatty stuff from other suggestions you’ll be receiving will take your adventure to the next level. This plus swapping in heavy whipping cream for the cornbread concoction then you’ll probably have bowel movements so horrible you’ll have to register them with some kind of government agency.

    Good luck and may your toilet paper be the good stuff.


  • I’ve been running a QNAP TS-435UeX and it checks all the boxes coming in with a mountain of hardware and capability for cheap. Dual 10 GB SFP+ ports, dual SSD slots for raided read write acceleration, user upgradeable memory. It does a lot of stuff and it’s an appliance so all the building out and troubleshooting crap is done for you, you just do what you want to do and be productive. The onboard encryption engine can fill the bandwidth of those SFP+ ports even if they’re bonded. 4 drive bays, but you can also add another 12 via a couple of different sized expansion boxes.

    It’s a 1U so the fans are kinda small, therefore it’s a bit noisy. The desktop version should be alright though.



  • I’m a long-time proponent of the participants of such matches being handed a single brick before they go into whatever closed room or arena has been agreed upon. Also leave a third brick in the middle of the area. It creates a certain degree of strategy. It also livens up the “just hugging” part of the fight that many UFC or boxing matches kinda devolve into.

    Do you throw the brick? Use it to block a thrown brick? Use it add a blunt weapon? Plus you need to get that third brick, but doing so exposes you to getting hit with a brick as you bend down to get it. There’s so many choices it’s like rock, paper, scissors except it’s just brick, brick, brick.