The first thing you said here is pretty spot on for me. Losing weight is largely a psychological battle, so giving people a simple task list doesn’t always work.
What we need to understand is that “losing weight” goes against our biological programming. We have evolved over millenia to crave carbohydrates (sugars) and fats because they are ready sources of energy, and to only undertake strenuous physical activity if absolutely necessary. In developed nations today neither of these leads to very healthy living, so we need to actively fight against our reptile brains to stay healthy.
As you said, consistency is key. You don’t get healthy by working out 9 hours one day only and eating salad for a week, you get healthy by making small, manageable healthy choices every day.
Try doing a little more exercise this week than you did last week. You can increase time, intensity, or frequency of whatever your chosen activity is. Try deprogramming your need for ultra-sweet foods by limiting your sugar intake and always try to consume fiber with your sugars (raw fruits are great for this.)
Little by little you will see beneficial changes
But who taught her to load the dish washer?