Yeah, this is my dynamic as well. My partner and I have been together for a decade and poly from the beginning. It’s not at all a secret, but people are so used to monogamy as a norm that they often just think our other partners are super close friends that hang out at our house a lot.
I’ve been in poly relationships most of my adult life, around 15 years now. I’m certainly familiar with the type of relationship you describe, but the long term, stable poly relationships are the ones that have been poly from the get go.
I don’t tend to date people who are “opening things up” in a previously monogamous relationship, because being someone’s learning experience is a bummer.
I’ve been in poly relationships for years. They work really well for me and my significant others, but we are pretty discreet about it because folks tend to be huge assholes about it.
Generally, you don’t see the poly relationships that work great; mostly, people see the type of scenario one of your other commenters described because the stable relationships are less visible.
We don’t! That’s the joy of it, just like people do, our algorithm will constantly waffle back and forth and argue with itself over whether these things are salads
I know, I was being humorous but it is in fact the way most categorization works. Very seldom is it a taxonomy; the way we recognize faces, voices, shapes, etc … it’s all probabilistic.
What we need is a salad categorizing multilayer neural network
So teeeeechnically, a salad is a dish composed of mixed ingredients. You could make the argument that you mix any two set of chopped ingredients and bingo bongo, it’s a salad.
However, I like to think that dishes’ ingredients aren’t a taxonomic thing, they’re a probabilistic thing. In other words, there’s no such thing as “not salad” or “salad”, only shades of saladness.
Serve it cold? Ok it’s saladier
It’s made up of chopped ingredients? Saladier still
Those ingredients are mostly vegetables? Getting pretty saladish
They’re mixed together? Even more salad like
They’ve got some sort of dressing mixed in? Now it’s very likely a salad!
… and so on. To me, your SO’a dish has a pretty high Salad Probability^tm
The definition of what “good coffee” is vary from place to place. The northeast has absolutely phenomenal American style coffee (focus on drip coffee and long pours), a lot of Europeans are after a really good espresso for €1.5.
Am an executive… agree with you on all fronts
It’s potentially worse than useful and actively confusing.
Welcome to philosophy! I’d recommend reading Spinoza, he lays it out very intelligently.
It’s simultaneously a way of disproving the existence of God (he was kicked out of his Jewish community and hounded around Europe by the Catholics for his atheism), and a way of replacing it with the concept of the infinite / of the universe. Lends itself to meditation and contemplation, but not to any kind of religious dogma.
BTW, the concept has nothing to do with love, or the fundamental aspect of humanity, etc. It’s just infinite extension, which encompasses every aspect of humanity, and of everything else.
I have a more complicated answer these days than I used to… the short answer is “no,” but the caveats make it longer.
I don’t believe in a god in the sense of an all knowing human type being that has thoughts and wishes and passes down commandments – basically, not the religious kind of God.
At the same time, I appreciate a lot of the Jewish traditions I grew up with, and Judaism has a lot more lassitude around what “God” means to you. To me, it’s Baruch Spinoza’s conception of God … basically, just “the universe,” of which each person is an integral part.
So in a “college freshman on acid feeling one with the universe,” kind of way, sure I believe in God. In a, “He got upset I masturbated way,” then no, not at all.
It doesn’t really have all the communities I’m interested in … but for most of my looking-at-memes and commenting-on-things needs, it works great. I use lemmy exclusively on mobile and haven’t touched reddit on my phone since sync went away, but I still engage with reddit periodically on desktop.
I have very few writing tasks that don’t require careful consideration, so it’s not super useful in my day to day. But it can be helpful to get the ball rolling on an outline or first draft so I’m not staring at a blank sheet of paper.
These bills are intended to make it harder for anyone to look at porn online. There are plenty of tools parents can employ to make it harder for their own kids to see porn – that’s where the responsibility belongs.
Folks who are recommending a blanket % without knowing your situation have probably not been a hiring manager before. Getting the best outcome relies on you having a good sense for what you’re worth, knowing how much you’ll accept, and gauging what they’re willing to pay.
How much you are worth: if people are trying to poach you, you’re probably pretty good. How does your current pay compare to the market? Are you earning more than the median for your job and experience? Less?
How much you’re willing to take: sounds like you’d jump ship over to the competitors even without a pay raise. That’s good (it means all outcomes are positive), but unless you are way above market right now, you can probably do better.
How much are they willing to pay? If they’re trying to poach you, odds are they’re willing to offer you the high end of the market – they know they are getting someone good.
Use a site like glassdoor, etc to gauge your current compensation vs. the market. Below the executive level they’re usually pretty accurate.
If you’re way below market right now, going for 20% may be shooting way too low (this often happens if you developed all these skills while staying in the same role at the same employer). If you’re way above the market, asking for 20% more might look pretty unreasonable.
From the moment they decided to milk it for three movies I knew it was going to suck. It’s a simple little adventure story ffs.
This movie was an unmitigated disaster. Awful, but not bad enough to enjoy because of it being bad. Too tone deaf to enjoy watching, not tone deaf enough to enjoy lampooning.
Yeah this is wild … every instance seems a lot smoother, and there is massivh more and better content. It’s feeling awesome
My level of activity on Reddit has been wanting. I was / am still fairly active in some niche subs, but I used to be pretty active in AskReddit, askmen, and several other spaces.
I’ve made a concerted effort to be more active here, and it feels nice! Feels a lot more human
For some of us at some times in our lives, having a relationship with two people is less work. It requires much more communication, better scheduling, and much more attention to your partners’ feelings … but that might be a good investment of time anyhow, and often gets overlooked.
I find that having multiple partners helps me appreciate each partner much more, for themselves – it’s easy to mix up how much you love just having a partner and being loved, with how you actually feel about that person. Poly gives you the distance and contrast to see your partners clearly, and that can be really special.