• abrahambelch@programming.dev
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    4 months ago

    Don’t make the same mistake as our generation and fall for TikTok, Instagram and that shit.

    Almost everything is better without it, from concerts to weekend trips to relationships.

  • OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    There’s no shame in changing your mind, there is no shame in needing help, there is no shame in self improvement, try to love yourself as a whole and work towards changing the things you don’t love.

    • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      That changing your mind is so key. Often times people attach personal value to opinions as though they’re related.

      The ego gets involved when it should fuck right off.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        Sometimes people around them don’t make it any easier. If people around a person immediately show contempt to a person who admits they were wrong, it enforces a microculture where change is going to be harder and more painful than necessary.

        • noobdoomguy8658@feddit.de
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          4 months ago

          This is a real problem with changing your mind.

          I can’t believe how many times I’ve been told I’ve changed when I no longer found something funny or said something that I wouldn’t have in my teen years.

          One of the longest-running opinions of mine that hasn’t been disproved yet is that many people just don’t really mature or age mentally, it seems; they just grow older, without accumulating much if any wisdom.

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Some grow wiser, but one of the lessons of my 20s has been you have to do it on purpose. I’m not wiser than I was 5 years ago on accident.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      You can also love the parts you’re going to change, as you change them. You don’t have to turn off the love to do surgery.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        That’s very true. I routinely change the parts of me I love. I try to make them better. I’m a kind and loving person, but I’m trying to change that from a selfless form to a self preserving form. To know my limits and stop pouring from an empty cup.

        • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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          4 months ago

          You can even love the parts you are saying goodbye to. Not improving, but eliminating. You never have to turn off the love at all ever for anything.

  • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Just because you don’t understand something within the first 5 seconds doesn’t mean it’s stupid.

    Also information changes on a daily basis. Just because someone gave you different information than what you were taught doesn’t mean they were taught wrong. Look it up.

    • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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      4 months ago

      As a 30+ person, this hits true. I heard my first friend say “the crap music these kids are listening to”. Like dude, have just some self awareness, remember our parents saying green day and blink -182 were crap.

      I would add to this that we don’t need to understand something for there to be value to others. There are trends I don’t understand, like dancing on tiktok, but it apparently brings the youths joy so have at it.

      • SanguinePar@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        As a 40+ person, I strongly agree with my young colleague here.

        Listen to what you want, kids. Enjoy it. And don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong about it.

        As Common once put it, “If I don’t like it, I don’t like it, that don’t mean that I’m hatin’.”

        • MidnightBanjo@lemmy.zip
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          4 months ago

          Loving this chain. Also over 30. I get frustrated that what older generations used to spout about Millenials like me (lazy, don’t want to work, etc) gets spouted by my generation to gen z.

          I’ve seen some Gen Z kids do some bad things, but I’ve also seen them do amazing things my generation would not have done.

          As far as music, I love all the variety there is and all the mediums to listen to it now.

          • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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            4 months ago

            I am actively working on trying to be better than the older generation. I love how unique gen z is, how they truly believe everyone have value, their beliefs, their morals. I have hope they will be better than us

          • SanguinePar@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Indeed, but this particular sub-thread started with an OP giving advice to older people, and is now older people responding to that comment. These aren’t top level comments, so let the conversation go where it may.

      • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 months ago

        Tbf some of the popular music has been shit since music began I’m sure, but there’s also always good stuff. For instance rap music, most of it these days is garbage like lil uzi and lil peep, but there’s still dudes like Aesop Rock (not ASAP Rocky, Aesop Rock), Run The Jewels, Meyhem Lauren, Lil Nas X, making good shit out there. Pop hasn’t been good since the 80s though. Oddly enough I think my favorite stuff from “now” is actually the fact that shoegaze is coming back but called zoomergaze and it’s fantastic! The band Julie is a good example, check out their EP Pushing Daisies. Also there’s been some really good recent country, namely Charley Crockett and Sturgil Simpson, and (ok it’s psychedelic bluegrass but) Billy Strings.

        There is good stuff, we just have to dig through piles of shit for it.

          • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            4 months ago

            Then they already know the radio has been pumping out pure drivel and oldies since the advent of RoboDJs? My mistake, didn’t mean to musicsplain.

            Edit: OH but I should qualify it: J-pop and K-pop are putting out some decent stuff, just not KISSFM™ and IHeartRadio™ which are equivalent to all American pop radio.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        There are trends I don’t understand, like dancing on tiktok, but it apparently brings the youths joy so have at it.

        It’s actually called tap dancing, and if you think of that as a youths thing you’re older than dirt.

  • rockSlayer@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Burnout is real. Step back for a bit and return rested, instead of abandoning the fight for justice entirely. Taking breaks is just as important as being active.

  • communism@lemmy.ml
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    4 months ago

    Children (be they your own or unrelated children you have responsibility for) are people, not property or pets or whatever. Treat them as such. They’re just people with less experience and more vulnerability.

  • Zeke@fedia.io
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    4 months ago

    I may be 32, but I can throw in my own thoughts here. Stop paying attention to “societal norms”. Societal norms are just there to control people. Do what you love. Watch cartoons and listen to whatever music you want to. You don’t have to be an adult at all times. Take a break once in a while.

    • SkyNTP@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      Considering the vast majority of people that walk around naked in the public locker room without an ounce of shame are people over 50 or over 60, I find this comment has got it backwards. There seems to be a universal constant that the older you get, the less you care about what other people think. I know I have experienced this myself, and most older people I ask tend to agree vehemently. It also explains why so many young people are embarrassed by their parents.

      My advice to teens and people in their early twenties: don’t worry what other people think of you. No one else is thinking about you much at all.

      • Sethayy@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Definitely a broad average but I don’t feel like its unfair to say each generation up is a bit more reserved that the younger

      • Zeke@fedia.io
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        4 months ago

        I never said I knew better than anyone. I just threw my piece in.

  • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Don’t be afraid of healthy change and always admit fault.

    While some of the shit coming out in our current generation can be stupid or superfluous always take it in context and see how it could be used to better your life.

    Ex. Increase in mental health awareness recontexualizes your childhood.

    Also listening. Even if the shit coming out of your child’s/younger coworker mouth is some bonkers shit at least listen to them without judgement. Will make any criticism that much better received

    • Captain Poofter@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      You realize 31 year olds were only 10 when YouTube came out? They have lived nearly their whole lives with it. Why do so many people under 30 think anyone over 30 is 50 years old?

      • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 months ago

        Dude my mom is 60 and uses youtube all the time, why do people also think 60 is 89?

        Now my (now dead) 89yo relatives? Yeah they didn’t use youtube, one of them had a rotary phone until the phone company stopped supporting them in like 2009 and then he had no phone and no internet until the day he died. Had to drive to his house or send him a letter.

      • nik9000@programming.dev
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        4 months ago

        When someone is having a computer problem I ask them to restart first. Not because I think they don’t know to do it, but just in case. Some people don’t know. Sometimes people forget. Obvious advice is useful sometimes.

  • systemglitch@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    If something or someone makes you feel bad, get it or them out of your life.

    Find contentment within yourself if you want a healthy relationship.

    Let go of things and don’t let your ego control you.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      BUT: differentiate between a person who makes you feel bad, and a person who makes you realize your conscience feels bad.

      Learn to differentiate challenge from raw toxicity. Generally speaking, if someone is challenging you in a healthy way, then talking about it with them results in you feeling healthier and stronger. If talking about it with them just makes you feel sick and broken, it’s probably more toxic than useful.

      • chrizzowski@lemmy.ca
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        4 months ago

        Knocking on the door of 40. I spent this week moving into my own new place after a decade of toxicity, so this one resonates with me as well.

  • MonkderDritte@feddit.de
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    4 months ago

    Guys, younger than 30 giving tipps to older than 30. Younger to older.

    Why is everyone giving relationship advice as if it were the reverse?

  • FuryMaker@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    You don’t have to have children, don’t feel pressured by friends & family.

    You don’t need to be in a relationship, don’t feel pressured by friends & family.

    Go travel. See things, eat food, drink wine, enjoy yourself.

    • ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      Yep, this is what I’m going to do. I’m in my 30s now and I’m going to start travelling. I was going to wait until I was in my 40s but I realized nothing is promised so I might as well go ahead and do it now.

    • Captain Poofter@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      You don’t need to be in a relationship, don’t feel pressured by friends & family.

      How can i tell this to bills?

  • rabber@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    I just turned 30 and I am pretty sure a woman is not worth it if she does not provide you peace at home and is constantly looking for drama and conflict. Spent my youth chasing lost causes

    As a guy at least in my experience, whenever I leave home I am faced with constant criticism and I have come to the realization that I simply do not have the capacity for it at home as well

    • sunbeam60@lemmy.one
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      4 months ago

      As a stone-age person on Lemmy (47) allow me a response please.

      First of all, I agree with you. Spent my 20s going through the motions thinking “maybe I just won’t meet someone I can bear to be with in the long term”.

      And then I met her.

      But in some respects she also met me at the right time. My assumptions about what I needed to help fix changed. My way of talking to women about their day, their challenges, their ambitions slowly morphed. So I don’t know if “she was perfect for me” or I had finally learnt how the differences between biological males and biological females drove how we communicated, what we needed and expected from each other, allowed me to finally commit to a long term relationship. We’ve been together for 17 years, married for 15. She drives me mad at times, and most days she wants to strangle me slowly, but despite all those small details, we also make each other laugh till we can’t breathe, we agree on almost everything (probably why the small disagreements become so “important”), we manage to parent four kids relatively well and when we finally find the time to have a day by ourselves, I am reminded why I fell in love with her.

      I guess I’m trying to tell you that it might still happen to you too.

    • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      I’m only a few years older than you, but I agree. And I’ll also say that some (respectful) criticism at home is ok, and if I’m honest, should be expected.

      We’re all not perfect and can’t expect to get nothing but praise or adoration from our partners, nor should it be expected of us. But all criticism should come from a place of love and respect; it’s not your partner against you about a problem, it’s you and your partner against a problem.

      Healthy relationships require hard conversations like that, but no one deserves to be in a relationship where they can’t feel comfortable to be themselves without being attacked for it (with some obvious exceptions).

  • NONE@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Find a hobby that will allow you to keep your sanity during difficult times (unemployment and such) and after you retire.

  • Duży Szef [he/him]@lemmygrad.ml
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    4 months ago

    fucking relax, take a break sometimes, let time fly and just don’t give a shit

    “but I have responsibilities!!!”

    fuck em, put your legs up on the coffee table and I dunno… just stop and think about the minute shit around you. or reminisce. have you called jon recently? fuuuuck man you should hit him up. ohhh you can’t arrange a date to meet? then fucking get that one day yourself to meet with him whenever he can

    i see so many people over 30 be overworked, overstressed and downright complacent with all the shit they have to go through

    just fuck it all for at least one day man, cause if that’s what life’s supposed to be then i don’t wanna get old, just to be surrounded by those who are letting all of life’s bullshit control every little fiber of them

    • forgotmylastusername@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      I’ve thought about this from time to time. Have we been kind of a neurotic generation? I could never tell if it was just me that was seeing things or what. The under 30s seems more indifferent. Might be because they are mostly the children of Gen-X? Are over 30s a bit uptight? How did we end up this way?

      From personal experience growing up so many kids were obsessed with the rat race from way too young. That whole mindset that you must to university to get all your credentials to fit yourself into a cookie cutter. The defacto life track until the illusion started to crack.

      All in all I think the over 30 generation has a really hard time with self reflection. In particular talking about the faults of our own generation. Which is paradoxical against the whole mental health awareness stuff.